On Friday 16th March 2018, I participated in the inaugural ‘Come Dancing’ charity fundraising event organised by Poppy Scotland. This was NOT the type of thing I would normally have put myself forward for. I’m not a dancer by any stretch of the imagination, and the idea of performing a dance (or two) in front of a crowd of hundreds and a panel of judges made me quake in my boots (or my extremely shiny dance shoes to be precise).
At the time, I was starting to promote the charity that I had founded. ActivNess was an Inverness based charity that helped people become more active with the purpose of improving physical and mental health, and facilitating self-management. I wanted to help people who were experiencing chronic stress, anxiety disorders, or depression regain balance through the participation of recreational activities. The aim was to break down barriers, connect with people that wouldn’t normally engage in recreational activities, and operate as a gateway service that supported clients through the journey back to a more active life. A more active life could open the door to improved health and wellbeing, creating connections and building confidence.
Part of my aim with ActivNess was to inspire/persuade/nudge people into trying new activities and support them through their journey. When one of my friends who was involved in promoting Poppy Scotland’s Come Dancing event put out an appeal for contestants live on her radio show, I thought I would ‘walk the walk’ so to speak, so I contacted her and said I would give it a go.
As soon as I had put myself forward for it, the fear and doubt overwhelmed me and I instantly regretted it, I wanted to retract my offer, but I knew I couldn’t. I pictured everything going wrong; me fluffing the dances in front of a silent awkward crowd, squirming in their seats with embarrassment for me. The visions of me having a total mind blank and standing in the middle of the dance floor being stared at by an expectant mob, had me up at up at nights. To say I wasn’t looking forward to it was a massive understatement. But sometimes you just have to, as my friend says, ‘put your big boy pants on’, and get on with it.
It was at this time I got matched with my dance partner Sharon. She had the unenviable task of guiding me through my first public dance performance. Saying that, I had danced in public before, but it was usually in village halls or night clubs along with loads of other people on the dance floors, all in our own little worlds, oblivious to the people surrounding us, focussing only on our partners or more often than not just our shoes or the floor. In these situations, in was usually very dark with lots of alcohol involved, and on these occasions there certainly wasn’t anyone interested in watching me strut my stuff. For this event, I would be performing in the spotlight, following a set routine, delivering well known moves with poise and grace (supposedly), with the audience observing my every move, while quite literally being judged; what a nightmare!
Fortunately, Sharon knew what she was doing, and Tris and Jen from Toe 2 Toe Dance put two great routines together for us to perform; a waltz and a rumba. Once we had got initial instruction from Tris, it was down to us to practice. Finding the time to do this was not always easy and as per usual, I wasn’t as prepared going into it as I would have liked. They say “if you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done”, I totally agree with that. I never feel ready for anything I do, but most of the time, waiting is not an option. You just have to give it your best shot and hope you can learn something for next time.
The next thing to do was to find sponsorship and get the outfits. WOW Scotland Tours were kind enough to sponsor me. I promised them I would wear something comedic, a leotard was mentioned by Gordon and I said I would if that was what I needed to do; the things you’ll do for charity. Fortunately for me, dressing up like a cast member of Fame or Flashdance was not required. I was told I needed to get an ensemble to befit my dance styles which happened to be waltz and rumba, so not a leotard in sight. However, I did end up with an oversized yellow bowtie which definitely stood out.
I put together the outfits for my waltz and rumba with a little trepidation as I was never a ‘big yellow bowtie’ or ‘tight sparkly shirt’ type of guy. I did have flecks in my suit in the 80’s when I was a teenager but that was about the extent of my flamboyancy. When it came to clothes, I became far more conservative as I got older and normally chose attire consisting of greys and blacks, with the odd navy blue thrown in for variation. My apparel for this event was just another element of me being outside of my comfort zone.
By the end of it all though, I did quite like my sparkly shirt, but was still unconvinced by the clown bowtie. The shirt must have brought back memories of my flecked suit from the 80’s when I thought I was in Miami Vice.
Everything became very real when the tickets were printed and the event started to get promoted through various media platforms. We got photos taken and did little interviews for the newspapers and social media. I was in way too deep at that point to bail out. I was still having fanciful thoughts about breaking my ankle and having a legitimate reason to withdraw from the competition but I knew I was being ridiculous.
The day of the event snuck up on me like a Tesla, and I’m pretty sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights of it for the whole time. On the morning of the event, all the participants met the organisers at the Drumossie Hotel in Inverness for a dress rehearsal. Sharon and I attempted our routines in front of the other dancers and under the watchful eye of the instructors. She did her best to guide me as I bumbled my way through our two assigned dances. I made loads of mistakes, totally forgetting whole sections of them. This didn’t do my confidence any good whatsoever, I left the rehearsal feeling a bit shell shocked. I went home, grabbed my training gear and went out for a run. This helped, it always does. A lot of the time it’s the last thing you feel like doing but it is usually the best thing to do. The breathing and movement involved in running seems to calm the mind and warm up the body, just what I needed before my step back into the spotlight moment. Once more unto the breach, dear friends. I ignored the intruding thoughts telling me to run away, gathered some courage, and headed back to the hotel to prepare for the opening ceremonies.
The stage was set, the crowds entered, and the nerves skyrocketed. As the hall filled up I saw the familiar faces of those who came to support. This always makes a difference. It is so nice to see people there for you, smiling, giving you encouragement and support.
We were fast approaching the time for the competition to begin so all the dancers lined up behind the stage where the judges sat, away from the view of the audience. People chittered and chattered, full of excitement and apprehension. Some people were a bag of nerves while others brimmed with confidence (at least on the outside). Something strange happened to me at that point, I became really calm. I was no longer panicking or catastrophising, I was just in the moment. I had spent a few years as a fire fighter and waiting there behind that stage ready to go out in front of that crowd reminded me of the many times I had stood with my BA (Breathing Apparatus) partner waiting for the command to enter a burning building; all thoughts are focussed on the task at hand.
When Sharon and I were called, we took our places on the dance floor and waited for the music to begin. Once the songs started, the notes attached themselves to movements and memory took over. We performed the routines almost without a hitch. I have a few instances where I have really seen the power of practice, this was one of them. Even though we didn’t practice a huge amount, it was enough to engrave it in our systems and allow us to execute the task required of us. One of the most powerful examples of the power of practice was my first skydiving experience which you can read about here (soon).
Both dances went well and the judges awarded us second place. Our performances can be seen below. The night was a success and raised a fair amount of money for Poppy Scotland. Due to its success they decided to make it an annual fundraising event. There was some nice local coverage and everyone involved grew from the experience. I had reluctantly participated, but I’m really glad I did. I met some great people and gained some new skills. I put myself WAY out of my comfort zone and developed as a person because of it.
If you would like to try Poppy Scotland’s Come Dancing yourself, you can apply here. I thoroughly recommend it. It was a great experience, and a real adventure for me. I want to thank everyone involved in the organisation of the event, the amazing participants who made it such a spectacle, the brilliant audience who attended and created such a great atmosphere, and everyone who played a part in getting me to the point of being able to perform under the spotlight without making a complete fool of myself 🙂