Running diary July 2019
Every Cloud…
In preparation for the Great Wilderness Challenge 2019 (a 25-mile mountain race), I was planning a run up Ben Wyvis (1046m), a distance of 14km / 8.75 miles with an ascent of 935m. Living in Scotland, and the Highlands in particular, days of blue skies and glorious sunshine are rare, so I tend to make the most of them when we get them. The forecast had been promising one of our days of summer that Monday, so I had planned my schedule around my run as I wanted to get the most out of it. I hadn’t been to Ben Wyvis in some time, and I couldn’t remember the last time I was up there in warm weather, so I was really excited about the prospect of a run in the sun. I had planned in my head how my run was going to go, how the brightness and warmth of the sun would make me feel invigorated and full of energy, how I would ‘be in the moment’ and enjoy the journey as I passed through the incredible scenery on the way to the summit and back again… I must admit, I was rather excited.
That morning, I awoke energised and ready to go. I kept checking the sky as I got my kit ready, the sky was overcast and grey, this was not what the forecast had promised. Normally I’m quite stoic, I try not to get too emotional about the external things I can’t control (such as the weather), but that day it got to me. As I drove North to the base of the mountain, disappointment started to set in. Glancing up at the sky, all I could see was cloud, none of the beautiful warm sun that I had been promised. Ever the optimist, I kept telling myself it would burn through the cloud cover by the time I got to the car park at the foot of the hill, and it would turn into a glorious summers day for my most enjoyable and memorable Ben Wyvis run ever.
Unfortunately, the sun didn’t burn through the cloud cover, so I started winding myself up about the tremendous Scottish summers we always seem to have here. I parked up at the start of the trail and opened the door. Instantly the car was filled with a mass of ravenous midges. I jumped out and started getting changed while being eaten alive. Being so distracted with the weather that morning, I had forgotten my midge repellant. This obviously fuelled my anger about the whole situation. By the time I left the car park to start my run I was spitting rage, and midges; I was NOT happy. Negative thoughts flowed through my mind like a torrent unleashed. Everything was annoying me.
Not long into my run, these feelings of anger and annoyance began to dissipate (running tends to do that). I started focusing on my breathing and my stride pattern, my senses heightened, and I became more aware of the terrain underfoot. My thoughts calmed and my mind relaxed. I started to smile at how things that were so infuriating a few minutes ago now seemed so inconsequential. I had fixated on things outside my control and paid the price. I had let myself go on an emotional rollercoaster for no real reason at all.
As I made my way up the mountain, it started getting very misty. I continued to ascend, moving through the thick fog, focussing on each and every step. By this point nothing was bothering me, I had accepted my situation which had allowed me to enjoy the experience for what it was. By the time I reached An Cabar (marked by a cairn near the top), I had travelled through the murk to where it was clear. and I raced along the top of the hill to the summit.
The view from Glas Leathad Mor was not the one I was expecting that day, it was better. There is something truly magical about being above the cloud line. I never got the warmth of the sun on my face, but I got a perspective you don’t get very often, a sea of clouds below you. Ben Wyvis means Awesome Mountain, and it certainly was that day.
I think the moral of the story is this:
If you pin your hopes on external factors that are out with your control, there’s a very good chance you’ll be disappointed.
If things don’t go exactly as planned, don’t dwell on how your expectations weren’t fulfilled, but look at the situation for what it is, recognise the beauty, and enjoy it.