In 2022, I completed the first stage of my journey from ‘someone who runs’ to ‘ultra-runner’. I made it to the start line of my first ultra but I certainly didn’t feel like an ultra runner, before, or after. In fact, by the end of it, I felt less of an ultra runner than I had previously (if that was possible). Beforehand, I had visualised myself standing on the start line in reasonable shape, feeling nervous but quietly confident, being mentally and physically prepared for the task ahead of me. I believed I would be ready, and able, to tackle the challenge that awaited. Pretty much, I thought things would just work out and somehow I would cruise through it and become the ultra-runner I had dreamt about being.
Unfortunately, reality hit hard. With only a handful of training runs under my belt due to a significant injury, illness, and a pandemic, my apprehension at the start line was well founded as my journey through the 80-mile course was one comparable to Frodo’s quest to Mordor. It felt like a challenge of epic proportions, full of pain, doubt, and fear… and more pain. There was blood, sweat, and tears… well almost but not quite… but there was definitely pain. There were also beautiful moments of joy and relief when I met family and friends at the aid stations which definitely helped break up the PAIN, did I mention there was a fair bit of pain involved. By the time I reached the end of the race I was moving with the grace and finesse of an arthritic baby giraffe, on ice. Not the way I envisioned the triumphed conclusion to the well executed build up and completion of my first ultra. Any poise or form I possessed had abandoned me a few miles in and it was only pure grit (or stupidity) that got me to the end. It definitely wasn’t the race I had pictured in my mind when I signed up, but what can you do, life doesn’t always bend to your vision so you just have to go with it and see where it takes you. I am now set for the next stage of this heroic transformation from ‘someone who runs’ to ‘ultra-runner’ so prepare yourselves for lots of mighty talk followed by some pretty average action, which, as long as I’m consistent with, I feel will get me to the place I want to be.
My aim now is to complete the run again, but this time I want to be standing at the start line feeling healthy, happy, well prepared, and injury free. I want to feel like an ultra-runner going into the race, as well as after the race. I want to have confidence in my abilities, and know it won’t be a traumatic experience like it was the first time. I’ll be honest, the run in 2022 was tough. Physically, I wasn’t prepared; I hadn’t done the training and I had a significant knee injury that I had refused to acknowledge until after the race. I mustered the determination to complete the circuit around Loch Ness but at quite a cost. It buckled me. Months later I was still having issues and the ultra only exacerbated things. On the bright side though, I now understand the magnitude of the ultra-marathon task. I realise that it’s more than just completing a route within a certain time, it’s about being able to commit to the process of getting better at something (slowly but surely), it’s about putting the time and effort into identifying and working towards a very specific goal, it’s about executing a well thought out plan and investing your energy over a long period of time to give yourself the best chance of success on the day, and most of all, it’s about making sure your preparation allows your body and mind to recover well so it’s an adventure that will build you rather than break you.
It could be about all that, or maybe I should have just chosen a shorter ultra-marathon for my first one; 80 miles does seem a bit much for a first ultra, now that I come to think about it 🙂
Read about my journey from ‘someone who runs’ to ‘ultra-runner’ below.